MEMOIR LOGO CONCEPT: The aleph and a Sufi mystic inspired my creation and design of the syzygy logo, which I initially based on the symbolism of the yin and yang.
But the concept expanded when I first saw the aleph in Judith Cornell’s
Mandala Healing Kit, My inexplicable attraction to it led me to incorporate it into my logo before I knew what it meant.
I later read that the “Aleph (the first letter of the sacred Hebrew alphabet) embodies the primordial, divine potential of the universe. ... Aleph contains all the universe’s potential and all of its emptiness simultaneously. Aleph represents a dynamic process of movement from unity to diversity and back to unity,” Jennifer Judelsohn, Songs of Creation.
And the mystic poet Rumi inspired me to use the fire and water concept after I read The Question. Here is an excerpt:
“The presence is there in front of me. A fire on the left, a lovely stream on the right.
One group walks toward the fire, into the fire. Another toward the sweet flowing water.
No one knows which are blessed and which are not.
Whoever walks into the fire appears suddenly in the stream.
A head goes under water, and that head pokes out of the fire.”
LOGO ART: Cropped fire and water images from Free Images.
LOTUS LOGO: In spiritual and religious literature, “the lotus is a symbol for the macrocosm and the microcosm, the universe and man. The lotus represents the divinity of the cosmos as well as the divinity of man.
The lotus is the center of the infinite, omnipresent consciousness which connects with the consciousness of the universe. Through the intuition, one of man’s divine gifts, the spiritual student can see the infinite, omnipresent consciousness as the lotus flower within himself.”
LOTUS ART: Courtesy
Homestead, my website service provider. (Temporary art while I design of my own lotus logo.)
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THE MEMOIR
CROSSING THE BRIDGE TO SELF
THE WEBSITE
THE MEMOIR
NEW!
ASTROLOGY READING
Sagittarius is the sign of the
‘Seeker of Spiritual Truth.’
(November 2012)
Excerpt from reading by Joan Porte
“With your chart, I’m getting a sense that you are at the very end of this old way of doing things. You are getting out of an old cycle and getting into a new cycle of yourself. You have all these planets in the first quadrant, which means self-discovery. You’ve got karmic-plus in the house once you re-orient your thinking.
“People with a lot of Scorpio predominately placed in their rising sign are people who always leave this world different from when they came in. That’s why I say this is like a big final cleaning up and stepping onto a new stage of complete self-awareness in your next lifetimes.
“And people say, doesn’t everybody change? No. Many people leave this world exactly as they were. They hang onto their beliefs. The idea of being able to transform, to metamorphize, is huge!
“With Jupiter hitting on Pluto … I see a spiritual journey. To me it’s not a robe kind of thing, but changing,
re-orienting your spiritual energy. The idea of getting beyond foreign ideas, foreign people, [and discovering] new philosophies, new spiritual pursuits to broaden this new horizon.
“This is ... an extremely powerful chart, an intense chart, a chart of new beginnings, a chart of self-awareness, which is always fun when you have something moving in such a positive direction instead of, oh, my god, this person is so stuck.”
SYNCHRONICITIES
(January to April 2013)
The huge increase in the number of synchronicities I experienced was mindboggling as I built (what I thought was) the bulk of this website from January to April of 2013.
The recurrence of the symbol of the cross is just one example of this intriguing phenomenon as it kept cropping up in unexpected ways at several turns and ultimately led me to reclaim my Dad’s rosary beads, which I had let slip through my fingers when he died in January.
The cross synchronicities can be followed from one page to another to another, from my initial Jung & Me page to Out of My Mind to My Latest Revelation and, ultimately, to my Synchronicity page, which demonstrates how synchronicities can work together to deliver important messages from your higher Self. The burst of cross synchronicities during this period—along with the oracle card A New Dawn, which I repeatedly drew during this time as well— reflected my need to let go of my negative feelings.
DREAM
Kidnapping a Child
(Monday, March 18, 2013)
I kidnapped a child, and on the run, I feel the child [my higher Self] is in grave danger. I went way around about eight city blocks so no one would see where I hid the child. But the child did not want to be hidden and showed back up right where we started.
I’m at work in an office building, and we are all under investigation. There are many of us conspirators who were in on kidnapping the child. What a weird crime to commit, I think. It might be easier to understand, to explain, if someone had just held a gun to my head and forced me to rob a bank.
Interpretation: A baby or child in my dreams often seems to symbolize my higher Self. In this dream it seems my conscious ego is trying to hide the child (higher Self), but my higher Self does not want to be hidden. I think it would be easier to explain robbing a bank than to explain my spiritual Self if it is exposed.
This dream, however, seems to counter what I would expect. Since when would the ego want to protect the higher Self, and since when would the higher Self expose itself to its own detriment? Jungian experts say it is very difficult to interpret one’s own dreams. As Marie-Louise von Franz put it, it’s like trying to see your own backside, which seems to coincide with the concept that we can’t see our own shadow, that is, our own faults, but those closest to us can.
But I am a little confused on this point, and as soon as circumstances permit, and I can obtain the services of a Jungian analyst, I will request that this dream marks our first point of discussion. And second, I will ask the analyst to address my confusion about the need of an analyst to interpret dreams— which might seem like an obvious conflict of interest. However, I will ask only in the most gracious way since, on more than one occasion, an analyst has saved my life.
I think the answer might have something to do with archetypes and complexes, and it might just be beyond my ability to comprehend just yet.
Nonetheless, it seems to counter what I said on my dream page: If we each have a unique language with our unconscious soul, why do we need a third person to interpret this private dialogue? It kind of reminds me of the Catholic tradition of telling your sins to a priest, a middle man, who will then speak to God on your behalf.
ORACLE READING
(Monday, March 18, 2013)
Question: Dear Spirit Guides: I am excited as I watch for God’s miracles in my life, as my prayers have been answered, even though I can’t see how yet. The eviction date approaches, but I continue to keep faith, working away on my website, and trying to maintain my physical and mental strength. I will continue what I’m doing unless you have any further guidance at this time.
Answer: A New Dawn, “The worst is now behind you, and positive new experiences are on the horizon. You’ve endured storms over rough seas, but now the way is clear and smooth….Wash away the negativity.” Affirm, “I move on to a life of harmonious and peaceful actions.” Furthermore, “By pulling this card, you’ve turned a corner in your life, wherein your prayer and positive thoughts are delivering new rays of Divine light to illuminate your present and future.”
ORACLE READING
(Monday, April 8, 2013)
Question: Dear Spirit Guides, Mom and Dad, I hope all is well. What should be my principle focus between now and the 15th of April, E-Day?
Answer: Contemplation Time. “Spend time alone, meditating upon what you truly desire.” Further details say, “Take a pad of paper and pen and go preferably somewhere out in nature where you won’t be interrupted. Ask yourself, ‘What do I want to do next?’ Write whatever comes to mind, without regard if it’s correct or not. Then ask your subconscious, ‘What’s my heart’s true desire right now?’ Write down the answer. Then structure your time accordingly so that can do what’s truly important to you.”
Interpretation/Action: Without using the term coined by Jung, the Contemplation Time card was basically suggesting I try an “Active Imagination.” I walked to the park and sat by the pond with a pen and pad, relaxed, and asked my unconscious, “What do I want to do next?”
Astrology, Oracle Cards, Synchronicities, Dreams, Alchemy,
and I Ching Converged to Send Me a Crucial Message from Source
Toward the end of his years, Jung hypothesized that if you asked a person during or shortly after a traumatic life experience to participate in various divinatory procedures that a gathering of strong unconscious connections would converge in the psyche and erupt into consciousness from every angle, regardless of which divinatory procedures the person engaged. By no means scientific of course, I unwittingly put Jung’s theory to the test when I looked for guidance using various divinatory procedures after I lost my job, which later resulted in the loss of my apartment, then my car, and so much more, as well as being displaced 2,000 miles away.
Unaware of Jung’s theory at the time, I nonetheless felt driven to engage various divination procedures as I sought guidance from my Spirit Guides which I recorded dating back to November 2012 (when I received a random astrology reading as a gift), through January 2013 (when I lost my job), and up to a few days before I was evicted in mid April 2013. During this uncertain time, as I continuously called upon my god, my dreams, my spirit guides, and my oracle cards for guidance, I became aware of synchronicities occurring at a phenomenal rate and—as if they were in cahoots with the oracle cards—they prompted me to attempt the active imagination technique (which I had not tried to do in 20 years); to cast the I Ching (which I had tried to cast 10 years before, but found confusing, sticks and stones, or something like that; and to research alchemy, which to my amazement showed me exactly where I was on my path of individuation—or so I thought.
Although unscientific, like I said, it positively amazed me how all these divination processes worked together, that is, they “constellated,” to use Jung’s term, to create a more powerful, more passionate, more urgent message than any individual process could have done. It was as if God, the Source, my Unconscious, my Spirit Guides, my higher Self—whatever you want to call this energy—used every possible medium to ensure it got its message across to me. And I still missed it!!! The recurring messages said to re-orient my thoughts and energy and release all negative experiences because positive new experiences, new beginnings, are on my horizon. The I Ching said the path was petering beneath my feet, to go Southwest (where much of my family lives), but to hide my light from those (presumably my family) who do not share my insights. It is madness that I spent endless hours asking what to do, and then completely misunderstand or outright ignored the answer, even though it seemed all the divinatory procedures had joined forces and were yelling it from the rooftop: “Wash away the negativity in order to make way for positive new experiences on your horizon.“
“Jung suggested investigating cases where it could be supposed that the archetypal layer of the unconscious is constellated—following a serious accident, for instance, or in the midst of a conflict or divorce situation—by having people engage in a divinatory procedure: throwing the I Ching, laying the Oracle cards, consulting the Mexican divination calendar, having a transit horoscope or a geomantic reading done. If Jung’s hypothesis is accurate, the results of all these procedures should converge.”
I cleared my mind and waited for the answer. I wanted the answer to come from within, from my unconscious, rather than my ego. But they were one and the same. Question: What do I want to do next? My Answer: Build I Ching page for my website. “What is my heart’s true desire right now?” My Answer: To make enough money through my website to pay off all of my bills and to support myself so I can dedicate the rest of my life to teaching others about the process of individuation as I undergo and document my own unique process.
ORACLE
(Friday, April 12, 2013, a.m., again)
Question: Should I send text to family about situation? What to say?
Answer: Contemplation Time. “What do I want to do next?” Answer (I already answered April 8): Build I Ching page, but I keep getting sidetracked.
Interpretation/Action: Okay, fine. Less than 72 hours to move—I know it seems crazy—but I’m going to build the I Ching page, even though I know nothing about it. With a little research, I was led to a site that offered a free online I Ching reading. Just enter my question in the space provided and click submit. Presto! The Universe would answer me.
I CHING
(April 12, 2013, evening)
Question: What does the Universe have in store for me in the near future? Answer: Hexagram 36, Brightness Hidden, to Hexagram 39, Limping.
Hexagram 36, Brightness Hidden
“Brightness hidden. How do you safeguard the light?” [This seems to echo my dream, where I kidnap my higher Self (my light?) to protect it, but it refuses to stay hidden? A foreshadowing?] “Since others do not share your standards or insight, it would be dangerous to let the light of your character shine out freely. Constancy in hardship bears fruit.“ [I repeat—“Constancy in hardship bears fruit”—it would be the mantra that would keep me going in the difficult months ahead.] “Those in authority have something to say,” which would become much clearer later when I read Wilhelm’s original translation: “The host has occasion to gossip about him” [—precisely because I did not keep my light hidden.]
Hexagram 39, Limping
Changing lines one and five led me to Hexagram 39: Limping. “Limping. Fruitful in the Southwest, Not fruitful in the Northeast. Fruitful to see great people. Constancy, good fortune [sound familiar?]. ... Really facing a problem means being prepared to tackle it in a different way, not just trudging doggedly onwards until the path peters out beneath your feet.”
REACTION
Well, shut the front door! Consciously I wanted to build the I Ching page because I thought it was one of the last foundation pages to be built (of course I have added about three dozen pages since then), and I wanted to finish it before April 15, before I had to move. But my unconscious had its own motive. It just wanted me to consult the I Ching, period, and it spoke through the Contemplation Time oracle card to tell me to do an active imagination, in which my higher Self said to consult the I Ching—talk about divinatory processes working in tandem as Jung theorized!
I built the I Ching page as quickly as possible (and it shows), then texted my brothers and sisters, most of whom responded by the next morning. It was so clear. Go Southwest Jung girl—it so happens I have family in the Southwest. And go quickly as the path is petering out beneath your feet. But you must hide your light, and yet stay constant in your vision. What? Well, I will figure it out, but at the time I needed to get packing because two of my brothers were driving up from Texas to fetch me and my belongings.
As the golden rays of the setting sun streamed through the clouds and the mountain tops as we neared El Paso, where my brother and his wife live, I chatted on about how the scene looked just like an oracle card I drew that predicted positive new experiences on my horizon, and no sooner did I say that when we saw a sign that said Horizon City. A synchronicity within a synchronicity! My brother usually called El Paso his home, but technically he lived in Horizon City, one of its suburbs. Wow. New horizons in Horizon City.
COMMENTS
So it seems Jung’s theory panned out in my little experiment given that the various divinatory procedures did converge during a traumatic period in my life to advise me and to warn me in very similar terms. Unfortunately, I did not heed the warnings to wash away the negativity so that I might enjoy positive new experiences on my horizon. No. I tried but somehow failed to let go of all that negative energy that consumed practically every waking thought without my even realizing it. And I did not heed the warning to hide my light, my higher Self. No. I spilled my guts all over the place, much to my detriment, I realized, as my own words came back to bite me, a true lesson in humility.
SIX MONTHS LATER
Of the various divination processes I have worked with in the past several months, I am most intrigued with the I Ching. I have found its divinatory capacity absolutely astonishing— even considering that there have been numerous occasions when I either misunderstood the guidance or the guidance did not make sense until after the fact. But I have read that if you consult the I Ching frequently and study it, you can improve your skill at understanding the messages from this valuable resource.
Also since building this web page, I have found far more reliable I Ching resources and techniques than what I used that first night. Since then, I have learned the coin-tossing method of consulting the I Ching and bought the Wilhelm/Baynes translation, which Jung wrote the foreword to. I am learning that the I Ching is often symbolic rather than literal, that it doesn’t necessarily view time linearly, and that it is very easy to misinterpret.
In retrospect, I realize that if I had begun consulting the I Ching, say, a year earlier—and if I had understood and heeded its advice—I probably would have seen the handwriting on the wall about the potential loss of my job, and would have sought other alternatives sooner, which may have, in turn, prevented the loss of my apartment, and the loss of so much more. I am very excited to share some of the things I have learned concerning the I Ching and hope to have the second installment of that page ready for review soon.
Furthermore, although I had truly believed that I had released my negative thoughts and energy, I realized a few months ago that all that negativity I was aware of in the previous couple of years did not wash away like I had thought. I had merely repressed it in my shadow, which became apparent to me after what might be called taking a backdoor into my thoughts, which I will explain in an upcoming web page on mantras, which discusses the power of positive thinking. ♂ ♀
Make No Mistake
The Divine in All Forms Tells Me to Release Negativity, New Beginnings on My Horizon,
and to Stay True to My Initial Vision Yet, While Hiding My Light, My True Self
The mind can be tricky in the information it selectively chooses you to see and then guides how you perceive and interpret such information, as you will see in the narrative below. For example, I don’t know what it’s called or if it even has a name, but I can’t be the only one whose mind plays tricks. When I repeatedly drew the New Dawn oracle card over the last few months, my naked eye saw the image on the left, but my mind’s eye saw the image on the right, to the point that I thought the image on the right was the background of the card on the left—until I went to show it to someone.
I CHING: Hexagram 36, Brightness Hidden, to Hexagram 39, Limping, seem to tell me to go Southwest while taking precautions to safeguard my light.
36
39
ASTROLOGY: In November 2012, astrologist Joan Porte said she saw in my chart a spiritual journey, an ending of an old cycle, a re-orienting of spiritual energy, and the broadening of new horizons.
DREAM: I had a dream in which I kidnapped a child [my higher Self, my Light?] and tried to hide it to keep it safe, but it did not want to be hidden, and despite my efforts, it exposed itself, an idea that is echoed later in an I Ching consultation, where I am warned to keep my brightness hidden.
HEXAGRAMS
SYNCHRONICITY: This sign convinced me that positive new experiences were on my horizon in Horizon City, and they may well have been but as the I Ching is also known as the Book of Changes, my destiny was perhaps altered for two reasons: I was unaware of, therefore, unable to wash away my constant negative thoughts, and I did not heed the warning to hide my light.
It seems we all have this penchant to reinvent the wheel when it comes to making our own mistakes rather than by learning from the mistakes of others. But I hope the following narrative will at least raise your awareness of potential pitfalls you may encounter if you are new to practicing divinatory practices.
Messages Converge, ‘Validate’ Constellation Theory
ORACLE CARDS: While the New Dawn card highlighted positive new experiences on my horizon, it also urged me to “Wash away the negativity from your consciousness and past memories, and keep only the positive lessons and love,” which the Father Healing card alluded to also.
SYNCHRONICITIES: The recurring interconnectedness
between my astrology reading, the crosses everywhere, the oracle cards I drew, my dreams, my discovery of alchemy, my Sunday morning messages from Joel, poetry and song lyrics and quotes and even commercials—all of it urged me to re-orient my thinking and release negativity because positive new experiences are on my horizon.
Marie-Louise von Franz, Matter and Psyche (1988)
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